Lets work with Anxiety

I have seen a rise in my practice of clients needing help and support with chronic anxiety, in particular over the last year. Whether this be new Mums with limited resources, the small business owner struggling to make ends meet, or the aftermath of the pandemic and what that uncertainty and fear created for so many of us.

Anxiety spares no one.

But can we imagine working with it, rather than against it?

A quote I love is: “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.”   —Walter Anderson. 

Sometimes we feel that anxiety is almost taking over our mind and body. We feel it physically as well as mentally. A sense that something is happening to us and we don't have any control.

The simple act of acknowledging we are struggling can bring a tiny bit of relief, it releases some of the shame, and some of the sense that we are not coping in the perceived way everyone else is.

Then there are the 'Shoulds’.

I should be able to cope!

I should be grateful and not be feeling negative

I should just get on with things

The ‘shoulds’ make us even more anxious, they keep the shame thriving, and they stop us from gaining a sense of control over our lives.

I believe that there are two aspects to consider when making a start on tackling anxiety.

Initially you can take it a step further than deep breathing, getting fresh air and taking warm baths. Unfortunately we all know the mental self help list only works up to a point.

Write down a list of the main aspects of your every day routine that cause you anxiety.

Now look to see if you have no control over the situation, or is this something you can take action over.

Then you can break it down even further and analyze if it is a real or imagined worry.

 Is it rooted in the past or present?

 If it is a tangible worry, for example a project at work, you can make an action plan to tackle it. 

If you decide the worry is imagined and rooted in the past, then write a list of the emotions that are evoked from this memory. Perhaps this will highlight how this past event is clouding your perspective in the here and now. Just the act of accepting some of the emotions tied to this list can release some of the anxiety. In that moment you are giving yourself a chance to feel and accept some of those feelings.

The next aspect would be thinking about talking to a therapist about these feelings and in particular how past events may relate to them.

A simple way of explaining what we call ‘repressed feelings’ is that many people at some point may have experienced traumatic events big or small, that they were not able to process as children or young adults. These feelings you could say get trapped and often manifest themselves in the form of anxiety.

Only when we get in touch safely with those original feelings can we release the anxiety and feel more in control and happy again.